Fair Warning!

A glimpse in the mirror can be such a shock,

I try to avoid them, life’s visual clock.

So - now that I’m old and wrinkled and gray,

Look out everybody! I’m havin’ my say!

I’ll write awful poems that bore you to tears

And expect all to praise them with laughter and cheers;

Wear polyester pantsuits, all faded and snaggy

Care not how they fit, too tight or all baggy.

I’ll wear my hair long and sticking straight out

Look like the ‘Medusa’ a little, no doubt.

I’ll fill up my fridge with leftover bits,

Maybe eat them eventually - if the urge hits.

I’ll eat when I choose and pick my own diet,

Bean soup for breakfast? I’ll probably try it!

I’ll sit around reading and let the dust gather,

Ignore dirty dishes or just nap; if I’d rather.

Hobble ‘round with my cane, looking all grim

Carry big ugly purses, filled up to the brim.

Turn up the furnace in the middle of summer,

Complain that the weather is really a bummer.

I may not even be dressed at eleven a.m.

Just putterin’ around, creating ‘May’hem. ☺

Put something down and immediately lose it

Never to find it when I need to use it.

My memory is such that I forget my own name,

Then wave it away, like some sort of game.

I’ll call on the phone and tie up your time -

Discuss nothing of interest, not yours or not mine.

I’ll give lots of advice to the people I meet.

Pretend to know all and not be discreet.

When one dares to visit I’ll chatter unending

Lonely old people are good at ear-bending.

You can tell from this writing I ramble on so,

And will prob’ly get worse, the older I grow.

I wish to be treated with care and respect,

Old age has its privilege; and so I expect

You all to be merciful, blind and forgiving,

And humor old granny as long as she’s living.

© May Winkel 1998